06 March 2015

A Bit of Clarity from Chapter 5 of "Cinema! Cinema!"

5.


“That's one big-time icy doughnut, Baby-cakes,” said Grogan. He peeled the kumquat-flavored tissue off of his tongue and flicked it away. It fluttered off on a breeze that neither he nor Rosalyn could feel, but believe you me (as some would say), they knew it was there. People seem to be hyper-sensitive around the Waycheeda Glacier, and they sense everything's presence, even if there is no sensory data to tip them off.

A word about the Waycheeda Glacier before we go any further. The name is quite curious, and it shows up in print with different spellings and different forms. “Way-chee-dah” was apparently the name that the ancient inhabitants of Bezelda gave to themselves. It means something like “people in search of cocktails”. The ancient inhabitants resettled there by means of time and space travel – all of the prehistoric Bezeldans or “Way-chee-dah” came from Detroit.

Detroit, Michigan, that is. They were the smart ones who knew enough to get the hell out.

“Waycheeda Glacier” is the official spelling on government documents and on maps. Maps and newspapers up until the 1950's (in the earthling manner of marking years) most often hyphenated the name: “Way-cheeda”, and sometimes “glacier” was left uncapitalized. Bezeldans who live near the glacier sometimes just call it “the 'cheeda”, and the guides who take paid expeditions atop the glacier for backpacking, picnicking, and sex usually refer to it as “The Ol' Doughnut.”

Now that you know these details, we shall now attempt to refer to the glacier from this point on in the manner of the Bezeldan Tourism Council and the official government appellation: “Waycheeda Glacier.”

Rab-klaat.


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