A
dark hole appeared in the fabric of the ceiling as I passed. A dark,
rectangular hole – more like an aperture that had been crafted by
unseen hands than a hole that had appeared as if by force or by
accident. The hole seemed to vibrate and call in a silent voice. It
did not say “carrera,” as I had expected, but rather called a
name I did not recognize, save for it being my own. My own name. A
name I had never known. A name I had been given. My name.
The
name seemed sweet and holy, yet I listened for only a moment. I
paused, stepped forward, and then stopped. The aperture in the
fabric of the ceiling led to something, I was sure, and it beckoned.
Beckoned. It beckoned, but not forcefully in the least, and as I
looked over my shoulder at the dark hole, it seemed to be more sad
than ominous. My father had once encouraged me to look with cautious
optimism toward such holes in the space-time continuum or in the
fabric of reality, as he had once done this very thing while aboard a
large naval vessel near a small atoll in the South Pacific. People
were trying to kill one another in the distance, and a dark hole
appeared above my father, who paused, and then listened to it while
looking at it, likewise, over his shoulder.
I
looked with cautious optimism at this hole, owing to my father's
advice, and I tried to listen all the more closely as I stood
motionless in the hallway. My father had heard the voice that day
near the atoll, and he eventually took to heart the name spoken by
his aperture. I decided that I, too, would stand
quietly and listen, but as I did so the silent voice grew even more
quiet – beyond silence and beyond longing, for I was beyond longing
and the day was growing old. The voice repeated my name; it made a
quiet 'pip' as if kissing the air; it was gone.
I
turned full around to look at the dark hole, and saw nothing but the
chipped-paint ceiling and the cobwebs and the dust mites and the dog
hair and the pale, pale rot of time. I took my name in hand and
walked beyond a small Pacific atoll – far, far beyond a small
Pacific atoll.
And
every day, for all eternity, I walk back across the water and strain
to hear my father's name.
Don't
you?
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