- Bookmark this page immediately.
- Mix yourself a cocktail. Begin sipping.
- Read everything here. Well, most of it, anyway.
- Subscribe (using the subscribe thinggy lower down in the right-hand column).
- Follow Mr. Andrews on Twitter. See the box in the right-hand column.
- Email this page to all of your friends.
- Talk about Mr. Andrews' work with co-workers around the water cooler.
- Name your pet Llama "Andy" in homage to the author.
- Return to the site almost daily for fresh, weird stuff to read.
- Check out the online publications that feature Mr. Andrews' work.
- Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org if you wish to offer him a big, whopping contract to write for your successful, award-winning and world-renowned publication and say "adios" to his day job.
- Mix just one more cocktail and go back to your business, humming a jaunty tune and thinking merry thoughts about the things you have read here.
- Come back soon, bringing friends and cocktails.
As always, Mr. Andrews takes no responsibility for any injuries incurred while browsing his site, and he washes his hands of any suggestion that he is guilty of slander or any of that rubbish, blah, blah, blah. Any similarity to persons living or dead is, of course, absolutely intentional. You think he could make this stuff up?
On behalf of Mr. Andrews, I thank you for visiting A Martini and a Pen, and we hope you come back soon. Please keep the shiny side up. I think I need a nap now.
Mr. Linus G. Janikowski,
Business Manager, "A Martini and a Pen"
Personal Secretary to Mr. Andrews